


I wonder if you know how it feels to let you go

by jillyputty



Category: My Babysitter's A Vampire
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Memory Loss, benny just wants to be loved, ethan is In Denial, grandma weir is an unbothered legend i love you evelyn, i haven't written in years mbav dragged me back, kinda ethan focused, there's a rain kiss teehee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:53:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25478713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jillyputty/pseuds/jillyputty
Summary: Their eyes met. Ethan had a look of relief on his face, and a softness in his eyes that was only for Benny.Benny on the other hand had a look of total confusion. “Uhh how do you know my name? Who are you?”Ethan’s face fell.
Relationships: Ethan Morgan/Benny Weir
Comments: 11
Kudos: 91





	I wonder if you know how it feels to let you go

**Author's Note:**

> fic title comes from the song "stay" by hurts!
> 
> i wanted to write this bc i made an au edit about benny losing his memory and i wanted to expand on it (you can watch the edit on my insta @vsweir).  
> enjoy!

“Here’s something that’ll really hurt.” The sorceress (this week's evil supernatural being) smirked at Ethan, then threw her gaze to Benny who was still recovering from her last attack. Before Ethan had time to react he was thrown back by a flash of light headed in Benny’s direction. 

Rubbing his eyes and collecting himself, he rushed over to his best friend who was still on the floor. 

“Benny? C’mon B wake up!” Ethan leaned over Benny’s quiet frame and started frantically shaking him to jolt some life into the boy. 

“What’d you do to him?” Ethan shot daggers at the sorceress who was enjoying every second of this. Eyes lit pure white with power and floating in the air, it was clear she was very much one for dramatics. 

She let out a smug laugh. “Oh, just a little something to show you how painful it is to be forgotten! Like I was for all those years! Soon you’ll all feel my suffering!” 

In an even more powerful flash, she disappeared. 

Ethan stared at the purple locker where she once stood (well, floated). “Shit..” Ethan hated not getting the job done. He made a mental note to call Sarah for help later. 

“Ughhh my head...” 

Ethan snapped his attention back to the now awake Benny and leaned in even closer than he was before. 

“Oh thank God! Benny? You okay bud?” Ethan helped Benny into a sitting position while he took in his surroundings. 

Their eyes met. Ethan had a look of relief on his face, and a softness in his eyes that was only for Benny. 

Benny on the other hand had a look of total confusion. “Uhh how do you know my name? Who are you?” 

Ethan’s face fell. 

“Benny, hah...c’mon it’s me! Stop messing around!” Ethan hoped to God he was messing around. 

Benny’s expression grew more confused. He backed away from Ethan and pushed himself off the floor, wiping some dust off of his satchel. “Look dude I don’t know what just happened or why I’m in school at-“ he checked his watch “-5:30 but I’m gonna go so...uh, bye.” 

He shot some finger guns for good measure and left Ethan alone in the dim corridor. 

Ethan couldn’t believe what had just happened. Benny just- forgot him. Acted like he was a total stranger. 

Ethan managed to get up after God knows how long, and he took out his phone. 

“Mrs. Weir? Is Benny home yet? Something happened. S-something bad.”

—

Ethan’s hands shook as he sat in the plant-filled living room of the Weir house. Evelyn was sitting beside him in a matching armchair, and a still confused Benny was across from them on the couch.

“So you’re telling me that we’ve been best friends since we were eight and an evil sorceress took all my memories of you? Yeah, uh, what?!” 

Ethan lifted his head and met Benny’s unusually cold eyes. “It’s the truth, Benny.” 

Benny looked to his grandma. She nodded, throwing a sympathetic look Ethan’s way.

“Yeah, I can’t do this right now. I’m going out.” Benny said, getting up and leaving the room. Ethan heard the door slam a few seconds later.

He turned to Evelyn who let out a sigh. “There has to be a reversal spell, right? There’s _always_ a reversal spell.” He sounded desperate, and he was. Benny treating him like a stranger for a little over an hour was more than enough time for him. He definitely couldn’t handle a lifetime of this. 

“Well,” Evelyn started “We would have to find the exact spell she cast so we know how to reverse it. Now, you said her eyes were glowing white?” 

Ethan nodded. 

Evelyn grabbed an old book off the glass coffee table in front of her and started flicking through the worn pages. “That narrows down our search. Her kind is very powerful, but they only use spells related to one thing: love.” 

“Love?” Ethan repeated. What does Benny losing part of his memory have to do with love? he thought. 

Evelyn must’ve read his mind and knowing her it wasn’t unlikely. “Well, some spells are about love or start with it, and others end with it, or are reversed by it.” 

“Like- true love’s kiss?” Ethan asked.

“Exactly, and from what you’ve told me I think that’s the case with Benny. Ah, here.” She pointed to the open page of the book, having found what she was looking for. The page was filled with symbols and notes describing the spell. 

Ethan took the book off of the table and started reading one of the notes aloud.

“This spell is extremely powerful. It takes away all memories of a person’s...soulmate. Only an act of true love from the unaffected lover can break this spell and return the memories.” Ethan almost dropped the book as he set it back down. 

“Mrs. Weir- that has to be the wrong one I- Benny and I are just friends we- I-“ 

Evelyn took Ethan’s hands in hers and looked him in the eyes. 

“Ethan, I know you’re scared. But this is the only spell it could be from what you’ve told me, and I know that your bond with Benny is too special for either of you to lose. It’s once in a lifetime. Just think about it dear.” 

She let go of his hands and walked into the kitchen as if nothing was wrong. 

Ethan curled up in the armchair. He couldn’t go home and act like he was fine in front of his parents. He couldn’t go to his room and be flooded with memories of him and Benny gaming and pulling all-nighters, talking about everything and nothing. He was afraid that they would never make any new memories like that again. 

But he just didn’t like Benny like that. He couldn’t. Benny was his best friend, that was it. Sure Ethan thinks that the golden flecks Benny has in his eyes when he thinks about the things he loves is the best thing he’s ever seen. And maybe he absolutely adores the way Benny’s hair gets messy on a windy day. And maybe Benny’s the first person he thinks about when he wakes up and- 

Oh shit. 

He loves Benny.

Ethan practically jumped out of the armchair and raced to the kitchen. 

“I’M IN LOVE WITH BENNY!” Ethan proclaimed to a smiling Evelyn. 

“Took you long enough to figure it out, I’ve had to listen to Benny pine after you for years!” Evelyn laughed as she poured some tea into her cup. 

Of course Mrs. Weir wasn’t worried back there, Ethan thought. She knew a lot more than everyone thought she did. 

“I gotta find him.”

Ethan raced out the front door. It was pouring rain, so heavy that Ethan couldn’t fully see in front of him. He kept running and almost fell on top of something -or someone- sitting on the sidewalk. 

“Benny!” 

Benny looked up at the boy who was panting heavily now. He was soaked already. Benny went back to watching the rainwater flow into the rusty drain. 

Ethan sat down beside him on the uneven concrete. 

“Benny I know you probably don’t believe me but-“

“That’s the thing,” Benny interrupted. “I do believe you...I think. It’s just a lot on a guy to wake up in an empty school corridor with a huge headache and then to be told you got your memory wiped by a...what did you say it was?” 

“Evil sorceress hellbent on revenge.” Ethan had to admit that sentence was crazy, even for him. 

Benny let out a laugh, rainwater dripping off his hair and splashing his nose. 

There was a silence between them then.

It was weird talking to Benny like this, Ethan thought. Like acquaintances. It wasn’t his Benny, he was different. Ethan didn’t realise how much their personalities rubbed off on each other before now. Seeing Benny without his little bit of Ethan was weird. 

Ethan broke the silence. 

“We found a way to reverse it. True love’s kiss.” He looked up and was met with Benny’s familiar smile. At least that was the same no matter what. Ethan went back to watching the drain. 

“Oh yeah?” Benny piped up. He sounded...excited?

Ethan looked up from the wet concrete and watched as Benny shifted a little closer to him.

“Y-yeah.” 

They watched each other's faces for a beat. 

“Well, it never hurts to try.” Benny said, barely audible. 

Ethan closed the distance between them and placed his hand on Benny’s cheek. He saw the golden flecks appear in Benny’s eyes. He knew his Benny was still in there. 

Benny didn’t move a muscle. He knew this guy, Ethan, was telling the truth. He’d never seen someone look at him the way Ethan was right now, full of love and fear at the same time. He really wanted this to work. While he couldn’t remember building one, he knew there was a connection. He wanted it back too. 

Slowly, Ethan connected their lips. It was a soft, light kiss, and Ethan was about to pull away before a hand tangled in his hair and pulled him right back in. 

Something changed. This was _his_ Benny. He could feel it. Ethan deepened the kiss, pouring out every emotion and feeling he hid away and denied for all those years. 

They pulled away for air, breathing heavily and dripping from the rain that continued to pour. Benny had that confused look on his face, but this time there was no coldness to it. His eyes were full of gold. 

Ethan let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“Uhh E? Not to ruin that little moment we just had but why are we in the rain? Weren’t we just in school fighting crazy magic sub lady? Wait- backtrack- did we just kiss? Holy shi-“

Ethan rolled his eyes and smiled. He missed this Benny, no matter how annoying. 

“Long story. I’ll tell you later. Just- shut up and kiss me again?” 

Benny’s eyes widened. “Gladl-“ 

He didn’t get a chance to finish. Ethan kissed Benny again feverently, their foreheads bumping and Ethan’s hands clasped on Benny’s wet face, holding him like he was gonna disappear if he let go. 

They parted again, breathless. Benny pushed Ethan’s soaking hair out of his face and trailed his hand down, stopping at his chin. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that E.” he whispered softly. 

Ethan laughed. He placed his hand over Benny’s, leaning into his touch.

Ethan wasn’t afraid anymore. He had his Benny here with him and he loved him. And Benny loved him back. And they were going to make lots of new memories. Together.

And Ethan would never let them go.

**Author's Note:**

> did i write this whole thing just for the rain kiss? maybe. was it worth it? duh.
> 
> follow my twitter @JlLLYPUTTY if you wanna see me cry over benny on the daily!


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